Just a Bit Awkward

When i was in my freshman year of high school, i had a friend over and we had built a blanket and pillow fortress, because reasons.
Out of nowhere, my brother told us to get out of the living room because he wanted to watch porn. 

I was pretty appalled at his statement, i had a friend over, we were watching tv and he wanted us to get out so he could watch porn on Google.
We didnt leave so he proceeded to go masturbate anyways, showing us some really bad porn on Google, and a Teen Titans Hentai on Newgrounds.

He came out a few more times during the summer to watch porn on some site i dont remember, while I was out there again, playing Super Smash Brothers Brawl. He got caught later and stopped using the desktop in the living room to masturbate.
Thank god we got a new keyboard.

Mind you my brother was in middle school at the time. 

When 4kids moderators are asleep at the wheel…

So I was a member of the 4kids forums a number of years back, mostly hung around in the Ninja Turtle section yammering with people, reading and writing fanfictions, yadda yadda. Now this was one of those forums where your posts don’t show up the instant you hit the post button; the mods have to approve it and such to keep it kid friendly (or, in some cases, to prevent you from giving calm criticism to someone who amounts to an art thief. Er, anyway). Which begs the question how two…no, now that I think about it, three incidents in particular got past them…

Incident 1: So there was a story I was reading. Started off fairly interesting, Leonardo captured by the Foot, everyone else rushes to save him, fair enough. Then he gets turned into a girl. A human girl. Who, the author makes it very clear, is stark naked because, after all, turtles don’t wear clothes. This is a KIDS forum. I should’ve stopped reading there and then, but no. No, it went on to get worse as the author decided to make this story an inter-species romance. Between the turtle who was turned into a human girl and one of his/her brothers. Needless to say, I never finished reading it.

Incident 2: Another story I was reading. Which also turned the very same turtle into a human. Well, okay, at least he was a human male this time, so not quite as creepy, right? Sure. Until the scene where he and April get in bed together. Time-skip to the next morning, and they’re still in bed together. Stark naked. April later has a child. THANKS, mods, for remembering that this was supposed to be a KIDS forum, and for not seeing the obvious implied SEX SCENE in this story.

Incident 3, by far the most…scarring. I had a rather lengthy thread where I’d been posting a fanfiction and a couple sequels- totally g-rated stuff, mind you; I was probably 12 or 13 at the time. One day, I see that I have a reply to the thread. Except this person had decided to post what was essentially a chapter of a Ninja Turtle fanfiction which focuses on one character in particular and his…issues…with jacking off.

Now I’ll grant, they kept it G-rated in terms of language, and being the naive preteen I was, I had no clue what was going on- I was just miffed that they had posted their *ahem* ‘story’ in my thread. Even still, I knew that SOMETHING was off when I read the post- something just told me that this didn’t belong in this kind of forum, based on content. And once I got a little older and learned about, well, things, I became absolutely mortified that anyone would post that on a forum for preteens. Anyone who’s not as naive as I was would probably figure out what was happening preeeeeetty easily. The post was removed soon enough (I think) but I’d still like to know- how did that slip by the moderators in the first place. What was it doing in my thread. What sicko thought it was a good idea to post that on 4kids. What sicko thought it was a good idea to write that and share it with the world on a kids’ site.

dangermat asked: I missed you admin I love this blog

I’m glad we were missed!

This happened to me when I was in the 4th grade. I decided to try using the Google search for searching things about Sonic the Hedgehog (I used to be a big Sonic fan back then) and it was a bit scary, since the only thing I had done on the internet before was going to Habbo Hotel. Anyway, I searched Sonic stuff on Google and then, I think it was on page 4, I found an interesting link. It was something like “Sonic the Hedgehog hentai” and back then I had no idea what “hentai” meant. I think it was my big sister who asked “Hentai? What’s that?” and then I clicked the link… Let me put it this way, what has been seen cannot be unseen. I also learned my first word of the Japanese language, “hentai”.

So, one time, my family and I went to go visit my aunt and 6-year-old cousin, and we were having this pretty rad dance party one evening; my cousin had gotten out this old video camera and was breakdancing around the dining room like a madman in his pajamas. We had just gotten a new iPad, and my mom was trying to search for music for him to dance to on YouTube. Unfortunately, she clicked on the “Most Viewed” section on accident and was promptly greeted by vaginas. Lots and lots of vaginas. Her reaction: absolute terror. 

Needless to say, we kinda stopped partying after that.

Anonymous asked: when I was like 7, I accidently looked up a porn fanfiction for pokemon (ash gets buttraped by meowth and turns into a female meowth etc etc) my mother found it in the history and lectured me. I just cried and demanded that she hug me. I was so scarred.

Space Ghost Coast to OH NO

Okay, so my uncle came to live with my mom and her boyfriend at the time in their fancy house. My sister and I (six and eight, respectively) were over on one of our own visits and my uncle was babysitting. To tide us over for a while, my uncle popped in one of his “Space Ghost Coast to Coast” tapes while he went to go do something else. Ten minutes in to the tape, FULLY NUDE MAN. It lasted for a few seconds, nothing hardcore, just a close-up of the penis. Then it went back to the show. I shuffled my little sister out of the room and talked to my uncle about it. He was horrified, I thought it was funny. Obviously, that memory stuck in my mind for a long time.

About two weeks ago, I learned that my uncle was friends with an openly gay artist who would often prank his friends by inserting softcore gay porn on video tapes he’d make for them. My uncle asked him to tape some Space Ghost episodes, and, well… you get the idea.

My uncle is still mortified that that happened.

I still think it’s funny.

So a while ago I was sick, I was 9-10, maybe? Anyway, I was in my parents’ room watching TV, when my medicine fell down behind the bed. So I reached down with my arm to get it, but then I felt a different object.

A porn dvd. I took it up and was shared shitless. I haven’t told my parents yet, haha.

I understand now

When I was little I needed to use my dad’s laptop. I snuck up behind him and yelled. He freaked out and exited the window he was looking at. I asked him why. He said that it was ‘daddy stuff’

oh god i didnt know what he meant but now i do and oh god

couple of different stories:

When I was in elementary school (maybe in second grade) I was sitting next to my friend in the computer lab at school, and she told me to search “pee and poo” on Google. So I did, and found this website about “sexy ladies pee and poo for money,” with photos on said women on the toilet. apparently you could even buy their shit/piss mixture (with the implication that you would drink it, wtf). We both freaked out because we thought it was gross and closed the browser as fast as we could, and fortunately neither of us got caught because our teacher was in the other room or something. That afternoon, however, I looked up the same thing again on my home computer and found the same website, perusing it in greater depth (I am, by the way, female). My mom came in and saw, freaked out, and then my parents gave me a lecture about being careful on the internet. I didn’t really understand what I’d found at the time, but today it creeps me out. (Seriously, what?!)

A couple years later, roundabout fifth or sixth grade, I was looking for a picture of a Canadian flag or something on Google and having a hard time because my Google fu was not as strong as it is today. I found some sketchy website and clicked on it, only to be attacked with popups, initially of naked women wrapped in flags, but then of straight up clips and images of people having sex and the like. There were literally dozens of them and I couldn’t keep up with closing them, so I shut down the computer and ran to my parents crying. I got another internet lecture, but I’m pretty sure they thought it was funny.